The beauty guru.

Once again I have returned, motivation has been at an all time low because it seems that children suck the life out of you…seriously, I’m starting to look like Gollum.

Due to this death like appearance I have been rocking, I decided to watch some beauty guru people on the YouTube machine.

But these chicks are fucking hectic!

“Before I go to bed at night I like to relax, so I wash my face with a million products and then get in the shower and rub my skin off and then layer a fuck tonne of creams and oils onto my skin so my skin will be so clear, you could almost see through it!”

Most of the time at night I just wipe my face with a cleansing towelette thingy, brush my teeth, smack some night cream onto my face, take some drugs and fall into bed….the order of this “routine” varies and one of more of these steps may not occur.

I also enjoy watching them go through their “Everyday makeup look”.

“I don’t like to wear heavy make up for day-to-day looks so I just put on 2-3 creams and then a foundation and then a setting powder, a bit of blush, then I like to contour the fuck out of my face, eyeliner, eyebrows, a million different eye shadows, mascara, lip balm, lip stick, powder powder powder, and there you have it! my simple everyday look”

Fucking hell, I could spend the same amount of time on my make up and I’d still always end up looking like this!

jokernurse (1)

“Does my lipstick look alright?”

Ah well, I’ll keep watching their videos in hopes that I learn something….but as I sit here smelling mildly of vomit and nail polish,wearing dirty pajamas….I am not very optimistic.

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