It’s no secret that I enjoy Disney movies, it’s also no secret that I enjoy singing along to the various soundtracks while drinking wine and pretending to be an adult.
But there are times where I just want to throw my glass of wine at the TV and scream “Get your shit together!!” I don’t do that though, because what a waste of wine!
So here are my top 5 annoying/irritating Disney moments. Please note that I still love these films and I will continue to drink and sing along to their songs. Thank you……Except for Snow White because I hate that one.
#5. Beauty and the Beast.
Belle and the Beast have a rocky start for obvious reasons but when they finally start to get the romantic tingles, Belle discovers that her elderly father is wandering around in the cold with a cough, so the Beast sets her free so she can go to him. They say their farewells and she rides off on her horse while he stays in his castle to cry and howl….COME ON GUYS! Why on earth did that have to be goodbye? Could she not have just popped out to pick him up and just brought him back to the awesome castle?? Their old home sucked anyway, and the villagers all thought they were weirdos so it’s not like they had any reason to stay there. Plus that Gaston dude was a MASSIVE creepy tosser who relentlessly hits on Belle, sooooooo moving to a castle far away from him sounds pretty awesome to me.
When Elsa takes off to the mountains after almost impaling her sister with her ice rage, she seems pretty pumped. She enjoys letting down her hair and building an ice castle and somehow manages a costume change although we haven’t actually seen her do anything except make ice but ok we can let that slide. So what the hell does she plan on doing in her ice castle? last time I checked she didn’t exactly have a packed bag with her so what on earth was she going to eat? Can she live off snow? And for someone who went on about wanting to protect her sister, once she got to the mountains she didn’t exactly seem saddened by the fact that she didn’t plan on seeing her again. “Peace out Anna, have fun ruling the kingdom with that douche bag I said you couldn’t marry because you had just met….I’m sure it will work out!!”
“Hey I’ll dress up as a prince and trick the princess into marrying me”….alright, good plan guy. But come on! The dude puts on some sick threads and a fucking hat and she suddenly thinks he is a totally different person, “You look familiar, oh wait you have a hat on so you couldn’t possibly be that poor dude I met earlier on….plus that evil sorcerer guy I hate told me that he had him killed and I’m sure he wouldn’t lie to me”
#2. Snow white
I don’t care how naive and trusting you are, there is NO WAY that old hag handing out apples looks a person you should accept gifts from. I know that Snow is all pure and shit but seriously! The old bat looks fucking insane!
Ah, another costume change which renders the person unidentifiable apparently. Prince charming doesn’t get her name or address but thank god he has her glass slipper right! Uuum hold up bro, pretty sure she wasn’t wearing a mask or anything so how about you just go around to all the houses and simply look for her. Oh you don’t remember what your one true love looks like?, then it totally makes sense that you should get all of the chicks in the kingdom to try on the shoe and whoever it fits wins! I’m sure her foot is one of a kind….what could possibly go wrong!?!?
I myself prefer the version where the step sisters cut off their toes so they can fit in the shoe, nothing says sexy like a glass slipper filled with blood am I right!?