One of my favourite internet sites to waste time on is Pinterest, I really enjoy looking at all of the DIY tutorial stuff and 100% of the time I convince myself that I could totally do it! Then I remember I have zero carpentry skills so if I did build a house for the cats, they would probably end up getting seriously injured once it collapsed…..which it no doubt would.
Please note: It turns out it wasn’t a tutorial for a cat house, it was a tutorial for a CUBBY house…minor issue.
Anyway, Pinterest enjoys recommending things to me which is great because sometimes I don’t even know what I want to look at, but Pinterest has been getting super weird lately. As I was scrolling through the main page I came across a pin that had a couple kissing on it with the caption “10 kissing tips you need to know”. My first thought was “Why does Pinterest think I need kissing pointers?” but then I became curious about it, so I clicked on it to check it out…..
The following is my own interpretation of said tips.
Tip one – Kissing isn’t just for the facial region, take those lips on an adventure of the body!
Tip two – You don’t have to go in hard and heavy, you can start out with just softly rubbing your open mouths together! Oooh the romance.
Tip three – Hey why not eat a berry before you start kissing….because it’s sweet and stuff so you will taste super nice!! Or you could just both put a whole lot of sugar on your lips and eat it off one another. Same thing!
Tip four – What about GENTLY tugging each others hair or digging your nails into his/her back? it really sets off the feel good endorphin’s. Just remember to be gentle with one another, you don’t want to have to explain to people why you are suddenly partially bald.
Tip five – Try nibbling each others lips. NIBBLING not CHEWING.
Tip six – Put on some mint lip balm before kissing because it will make your face tingle! If you don’t have mint balm just use toothpaste, it’s BASICALLY the same thing…..
Then things got a bit……weird.
Tip seven – Push your hips together….because THRUSTING!!!!
Tip eight – Lick your partners teeth, it’s super sexy.
Tip nine – Nobody wants to kiss someone who has stank breath! So be sure to brush your teeth and your tongue and pop half a dozen mints. (I feel like this one should have come up MUCH earlier in the list.)
And my personal favourite!
Tip ten – FACIAL INTERCOURSE….. suck on each others tongues, mimicking intercourse with your mouths really spices things up! The wetter the better!!…..I’m so sorry.
There you have it, ten kissing tips! But really this is junk you can work out on your own, and if you like to get a bit freaky with your kissing styles, keep doing your thang, it’s all gravy baby!
I tend to remember things if they are more visual, so I found this picture.
Don’t worry Pinterest, I still love you even if you are a super creeper.
Here is the link to the kissing tips if you are interested http://www.buzzit.club/10-kissing-tips-you-need-to-know