Wait….what?

When I go out drinking I will always end up on the dance floor bouncing around like crazy while screaming out lyrics to whatever trashy song is playing and I have never really taken the time think about what they are saying. So I decided to investigate.

It didn’t take much digging to figure out that the song “Whistle” by Flo Rida wasn’t actually about whistling and that when 50 cent was rapping about taking someone to the “Candy shop”  he wasn’t referring to candy. I have some news for you 50 cent, most women would probably prefer the actual candy.

After some extensive research, here are some of my favourite horrible moments.

“Baby, baby, baby, oh Like baby, baby, baby, no Like baby, baby, baby, oh I thought you’d always be mine, mine”                                                                                                             – Baby by Justin Bieber….. Now I can understand why he has such a huge following, lyrical genius!!!

“Ooh baby, I like it, you so excited, don’t try to hide it, I’mma make you my bitch
Cake, cake, cake, cake,cake, cake, cake, cake,cake, cake, cake, cake,cake, cake, cake”                                                                                                                                        – Birthday cake by Rihanna….Nothing like good old repetition to get people to understand your intense love of cake.

“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday”       I got a feeling by the Black eyed peas……You are correct, those are indeed the days of the week.

“Fucking magnets, how do they work? and I don’t wanna talk to a scientist, Y’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed”                                                                           – Miracles by the Insane clown posse……If you listen to the whole song you will find that a lot of the things they consider miracles have some scientific explanation, don’t tell them that though because apparently they hate scientists.

“Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free (I’ll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)   Rockstar by Nickelback …..  I could have written a whole entry on Nickelback because I really dislike them, no offence to the people out there that love them. I’m sure the two of you have a really good reason.

Now I am sure you have heard of the song Friday by Rebecca Black, well the same dude who helped make that atrocity happen has helped create another song called “Chinese Food” sung by Allison Gold.

“After balling, I go clubbing, then I’m hugging ,then I’m hungry and I’m walking on the street
And I’m getting getting, getting, getting grumpy, grumpy”  – First verse     

Now I’m not sure how old Miss Gold is but I’m pretty sure she isn’t old enough to be clubbing and I don’t even know what “Balling” is…is it basketball?… So she plays basketball and then goes clubbing, then hugs everyone and then she is hungry and grumpy while walking down the street which is during the day in the video soooo she was at a school disco perhaps?….I don’t know…anyway that’s just the beginning of the song, she goes on to stereotype Asian people and have a really creepy older gent in a panda suit do some rapping later on……. yeah……

I suppose when it comes down to it sometimes people are happy to look past the lyrics and just listen to a song with a beat that makes them feel good, myself included. Nothing like getting your groove on and shaking them blues away.

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