Night time is a rough time for me.
You see I am pretty paranoid at the best of times, so you can imagine what I would be like when I am laying in a pitch black house that is dead silent, and sharing a house with cats doesn’t make it any easier. Living with cats has many perks but nobody tells you about what happens in the darkness. Let me set the scene for you.
It’s late at night and I am snuggled into my warm bed when suddenly I hear a BANG!, so I shake awake the husband who is snoring softly….(loudly).
Husband: What’s wrong?
Me: *whispers* There is someone in the house
Me: *whispers* I heard a banging noise….there is someone in the house
Husband: I’m sure it’s nothing, just go back to sleep
Me: *whimper* but I can’t when there is someone in the house
Husband: There is no one in the house
Me: How do you know, you haven’t checked!!…..Did you lock the door?
Husband: Yes I did
Me: So if I go and check I will find it locked
Me: Are you suuurrree
Husband: *groans* Yeeeess!!
Me: OK…….*I lay quietly for a moment* can you go and check the house?
Husband: Will I get any sleep if I don’t?
He goes and checks the house and finds nothing so we lay back down and close our eyes. As usual Husband goes straight to sleep while I toss and turn for a little while, just as I am drifting off I hear another BANG!. ….Thought process….
Oh god it’s closer now….should I wake husband back up?…probably should wait until I have some hard evidence…Oh god what would I do if someone actually WAS in the house….What if they want to steal the TV…Well obviously I would let them take it…We are probably due for a new TV anyway…What if it is something more sinister than that?….What if it is zombies?!?!?…We would probably have to jump out the window…But the windows are locked!!!…Husband could probably kick it out…I should probably start leaving the window keys in the bedroom….just in case….It’s lucky I read the zombie survival guide so I am properly prepared for such an event. BANG!…oh god……OH GOD THE DOOR IS MOVING ITISSERIOUSLYMOVING!!!!
Just when I think my whole body is going to explode from panic I see a ball rolling along the floor and I brace myself, ready for some ring/grudge girl to come crawling through my door when suddenly… A white blur and a black blur come barreling into the room and then I realize that it is my two feline brethren tangled up in each other. Iggy is biting midnight’s legs while Midnight has Iggy in some kind of intense head lock.
It seems to be a routine now. As soon as husband and I get comfortable in bed and just start to doze off it’s like some mental alarm goes off in the cat gents and they suddenly think it’s time for shit to get real. Suddenly they think that everything on the bench should be on the floor because it’s obviously easier to play with that way and it’s probably the best time to start going through the recycling to eat egg cartons (Iggy has a fetish)
Oh well, you have to take the good with the creepy and it certainly makes up for it when they come in for cuddles……Until they start attacking me because I move my legs and they think that the movement is actually caused by some blanket dwelling creature that needs to be stopped at all costs!……..ANYWAY
I’ll see you in the Catosphere ya sick freak.