Yet again

So I am seeing a new Psychologist, she actually runs the group I go to. Anyway, I went to see her for the first time on Tuesday and I underwent some mood questionnaire thing so she could evaluate me. It was a bunch of questions I had been asked a million times only this time it was a bit different. Every other councilor/Psychologist kind of coddled me, so for those that have been through a hard time you get what I’m saying when I say that it kind of feels condescending and irritating. It’s nice sometimes from the people closest to you but not from professionals that you are seeking help from.

This lady however didn’t coddle me at all, she was very to the point and didn’t waste time trying to become my friend which was really refreshing. After an hour of this questionnaire she said that she believes that on top of the personality disorder that I also have the showing of Bipolar type 2……….God dammit.

To say that I am annoyed about yet another diagnosis is an understatement. Don’t get me wrong I want nothing more than to get better, I want it so badly it hurts. But I have been on a painful roller coaster for so long that I can’t remember what it feels like to just be me, and the last six months have been hell for me and all of the people closest to me.

So she gives me a special code thingy and refers me to the black dog institute to do yet another questionnaire about my anxiety/depression and everything that goes with it. This is what it is….

What is the MAP?

The MAP is a computerised assessment and diagnostic tool for mood disorders. Based on the Black Dog sub-typing model of depression the MAP incorporates nearly a quarter of a century of sophisticated clinical expertise in assessment, diagnosis and management planning for people with mood disorders (both depressive and bipolar disorders).

Specifically, the MAP aims to:

  • Identify depressive sub-type
  • Improve detection of bipolar disorder
  • Identify vulnerable personality styles
  • Identify lifestyle and environmental factors contributing to the depressive illness
  • Provide a rational basis for development of a formulation and treatment plan

She called me yesterday saying that my results are in and I am getting referred to see a specialist in Sydney. Hopefully they will be able to diagnose me more thoroughly and get me onto some medication and a long term plan or at least an idea of something that will help. I won’t get a referral until late April early May which is a big down side.

This post has been going for some time so my apologies. I get married this weekend so I have been occupied. I have group again tomorrow…..still hate it.

So yes I get married this weekend. I’m a little nervous.




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