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Bad day bad day bad day..

This no medication shit blows, sure it’s a great idea long term and it’s great and all if you have the coping mechanisms outside of medication but I DON’T!!!!

I’m on a freaking tightrope without a safety net, I have nothing except a couple of night time pills that are supposed to help me sleep, and given my nightmares haven’t been to bad over the last two nights and I have managed to get some sleep it still doesn’t help. It’s only early days so I hope that gets better.

My emotions are out of control, midnight (my cat) meowed at me while I was in the kitchen and I yelled at him and told him that he had food in his bowl and then cried into the freezer because I feel like I am crawling inside my skin if that makes any sort of sense. I am so uncomfortable and my face is itchy (the type of itchy that you get with allergies) and I get so hot that my head itches. I am going insane or at least that’s how it feels.

I DON’T HAVE ANY MEDICATION!!!!!!!!!!!! No quick fix tablets, nothing to take the edge off. I feel physically ill. I am so frustrated. I go back to work tomorrow and I don’t want to. I’m tired of not been able to cope with anything. I watch cartoons and freaking crying over some trivial plot twist.

RAAAAAAAAGE.

I am going to try yoga and Tai Chi so at least that could help with my anger issues. As long as I stick with it.

So tired of this crap already.

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